My curse. and other random thoughts. . .

BRIEF UPDATE; I got a text from Brandon (Sunday's guy) this morning.. "GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE! How is your day?" . . . I feel like this is an attempt to stay friendly, but not flirty. What do you think? I've decided not to put much more effort into establishing much with Brandon.. Let the chips fall where they may, I guess you could say.
I still havent heard much from David (Saturday's guy). But he seems much like the type to not take the initiative. I'm secretly bummed about that, but THATS OK! :) Again, letting the chips fall where they may. . .
Adam and I, of course, still great friends... so far, the least mystery behind this relationship, and that's the way uh huh uh huh, I like it. . !
ALRIGHT, so today, I noticed something that was beginning to irritate me so to the point that I purposely played Kelly Clarkson

I HATE YOU

break up songs so that I was FORCED to remember my WHY in this matter. It always seems this way.. Whenever I'm just about to be distracted by another man coming into my life, my ex somehow manages to sneak his way into my thoughts, memories, and urges.. its like a curse! Exhibit A: Sunday night during the snuggle with Brando, the ex (is how we will refer to him from here on out) texted me, AND called and left a voicemail. . . Out of the blue! It's like he must have this 6th sense that can just smell when I am just beginning to enjoy myself with someone else!
A little history on the ex and I.. We dated on and off for a little over 2 yrs. He is who I am most vulnerable to, and that is all my own fault. But I've come a LLOONNGG way from still feeling that way, I am proud to say. The good thing about him; He for real loved me(and I feel he still does, which is not so a good a thing). And I for real loved him. The connection between us during our relationship is by far the most amazing and connected that I've ever been with any other human being in my life. Sadly, any time I meet someone new, I cant help but compare them to him. I think thats common, right?? But I just hope hope HOPE that it is not affecting my decisions and preferences while dating, you know, holding me back..? How do I be sure of that? Can I ever be sure of that?. . . Hhhhmmm. . Somehow I seem to think no.
A quote I once read somewhere comes to mind now while thinking of my past relationship woes..

LOVING SOMEONE IS ALLOWING THEM THE ABILITY TO DESTROY YOU BUT TRUSTING THAT THEY WON'T.

If anyone could ever really define love, this would be it. That's all for tonight. Until my next encounter, sweetest dreams. <3